Mga Pahayag

DECISION MAKING is the cognitive process leading to the selection of a course of action among variations… as WIKIPEDIA defines it. Well, I’ve reached this juncture where it’s a must for me to decide on something CRUCIAL…in the pursuit of happiness. No more delaying, and it’s scaring the hell out of me. I’ve heard a lot from a lot of people because I’ve sought their advise. It’s time to listen to my heart. How to reach the right decision? I’ve been told to remember 3 things: God, Mind, and Heart. Yes I believe the soundness of this. To anyone  who may read this… please pray for me.

Another year is over so quickly. I took time to think of my life in 2006 and realized that it was such a GREAT year for me! So many things were accomplished with regard my personal and spiritual life, career, and family. Then I came to realize that they were all preceded by my personal prayers as well as intercessions by my brothers and sisters in Christ (it truly works!). Now, they have become answered prayers.  A lot of them were YES answers, a couple of them were NO. I want to thank God for pouring upon me the grace of acceptance and humility for the times that He put down his feet and told me NO There were bad times of course, but Abba Father was always there for me. He was my source of strength, comfort and hope.  My amazement to His goodness just blows me away!

This year, I am so full of anticipation for what God has in store for me. He knows my plans, desires and wishes. I hope he grants them all; but His will is far more important than mine. May I always stick with Him for He suffices and He never fails.

I was in for such disappointment one morning.  Finding out that he was just making fun of me with his texts the previous night made me feel like such a crap.  I had my doubts with regard to the sincerity of what he was saying so I guess I was not completely a stupid fool.  Still, it hurts.  Maybe because I didn’t expect he could do that to me.  Maybe because I was pleasantly surprised and truly wanted to believe his words as they are.  But even if it were not so, still, what right does he have to stir up my feelings late at night?  Even if it was not me, what right does he have playing with a woman’s feelings like that even if he meant it as a joke?  It was a bad joke.  Seems like it is something he is good at… it feeds his ego probably.  Typical doing of a man so they say.  Bullshit.  If I was a loose woman, my muddy character would have been immensely flattered by what he did.  But I am not.   How may I know how to take him seriously anymore?  Just a sec, let me answer my cellphone…

Wow, that was two male friends of mine hanging around over pansat and probably beer (they were not drunk).  It has been some time since I last saw them. As they were talking, I came to their minds and they called to ask how I am!  Now, I know that I am worth thinking of afterall and sincerely at that.  Thank God I won’t be sleeping tonight feeling like crap anymore : )

Well, it has been a long time since my last entry. But now, I finally found something of interest to write about. For an outdoor sports enthusiast like me, the successful ascent and descent of Leo Oracion and Erwin “Pastor” Emata and Romi Garduce was AWESOME news! While I only climbed very few mountains and hills in our own country, the trio had been to the TOP OF THE WORLD! They were able to summit Mt. Everest! Their success reverberated on to every single lover of outdoor sports who may be classified as those making a career out of it, those doing it as a hobby or diversion perhaps, and those who are content on fixing their eyes on channel A1 (where for the most part I belong :P). Not only that, they have become a source of pride and inspiration for all Pinoys, especially those who are still struggling to make their own dreams come true in whatever field. And more, their feat has raised consciousness that OUTDOOR SPORTS IS TRULY A SPORT - requiring dedication, discipline, training, and sacrifice.

Two nights ago, I had the chance to associate with Leo Oracion and Pastor Emata in Ayala Center (thanks to Joy’s invitation!). You know…brief talks, shaking hands, having pictures taken with them:D Sus, pagkadakong BISDAK ni Pastor! Proudly Cebuano gyud! Si Leo, adopted son of the Visayas, abtik na pud kaayo mo-bisaya! The 2 regaled the audience with their stories of the expedition - inspiring and alegre kaayo! Touching pud. Pagkalisod man ba gyud diay kung kuwang sa kuwarta, gamit og kaon. Yet the spirit, in particular the Pinoy spirit, lives on! But what really struck me was how grounded they are, down to earth gyud – simple, friendly, unassuming, and accommodating. Way balibad sa request papicture dinhi, papicture didto og papirma dinhi, papirma didto Truly, no hint of smugness brought about by their success - mas nibilib pa gyud ko. Dayon nindot kaayo ang message na gisuwat ni Pastor sa nursing guide booklet ni Joy (autograph ba, nasuya kay ko kay wa ko’y booklet o t-shirt napasuwatan tsk!). Ingon siya, “Never stop dreaming. You will reach higher than Mt. Everest.” Naks! Inspiring gyud! Joy is reviewing for an exam karon; and she said every time she will open the guide booklet and read that message, makaingon siya sigurado na gyud kuno siya pasar sa exam he!he!he! Maayo unta. Leo and Pastor were given very well deserved recognition in that event. I wish them all the best. God bless them both and the entire crew of the Philippine Mt. Everest Expedition Team especially na they have a plan to scale the world’s highest mountain again next year, this time traversing the more dangerous northern route. Basin this time makaabot na gyud sila og Camp 6 sama ni Budoy he!he!he!

Although I certainly would want to, I don’t think I can ever become like Leo and Pastor. Yet enjoying the outdoors, even on a small scale and irregular basis, has taught me some significant things that they have learned way, way ahead of me. It taught me self-discipline and the ability to endure and go on even if I feel like giving up. For example, trekking and climbing for hours or a day or 2, under the heat or in the cold, in an unfamiliar place away from the conveniences of the city is surely taxing. I admit at times there are grave risks… of accidents like falling off a deep ravine, of contracting tropical diseases like malaria, of having all your blood sucked by leeches, of perhaps being kidnapped by renegade men, of dying. Sometimes I would question “why the hell am I exposing myself to danger?” I do not have statistics, but I believe the risk of spiritual, mental, physical and emotional decay and also death of living in the urban is of a higher degree.

Next, the outdoors has taught me to appreciate and respect nature. I feel its beauty when I get lost amidst the greenest of green, or upon immersing in cool and clean waters, or when spelunking. More so, nature made me feel its renewing power. It is actually kind of ironic because although there is physical fatigue or exhaustion at times, the body is regenerated afterwards. And nature’s power to renew goes beyond the physical; it touches my spiritual realm and that is the best experience I get. It humbles me every time because I am reminded of God’s goodness and greatness! All that He set forth to exist, all His myriad creations are unique and amazing!

Third, the lessons learned with regard relationships are invaluable. There exists the willingness to look after the welfare of one another, to wait on one another, and to share all resources available. In addition, the people I have met along the journey left lasting memories of examples on living, simplicity, hospitality and kindness.

Enjoying the outdoors is truly a rewarding experience for me. You know, I hope you will get the chance to enjoy it while you can and while it is there Saman Mam Joy, Mt. Kitanglad na ta?

I actually had no plan to post another blog just yet, but when I read my sisters’ third "attempted" testimonial… he!he!he!… I am laughing up until now while writing.  Yep, I definitely have been bugging her to write me a testimonial Mind you, she’s the only one that I have definitely been hounding he!he!he! But it’s not my fault either why the previous two got deleted.

The first one written had been posted on my friendster eversince I became a member.  Then a few months back, while browsing through, I could not find it anymore :(  I had no idea where in the world it went!!! I swear by my grave I did not delete it. Why would I want to anyway? I loved what she wrote! Besides I don’t go about deleting what others voluntarily write about me when sooo many are sooo persistent in soliciting testimonials from others

After more than a month of pestering, she wrote the second testimonial. After I approved it, I was dismayed because it did not show rightly on the testimonial page. Since I had no idea how to fix it, I did the next logical thing …clicked the "delete" button. I bet if anyone of you would encounter the same problem, you would do what I did, would you not?

If the aforementioned problems did not  occur, my sister would not have suffered the agony of being hounded as if she owes one huge debt he!he!he!; but then, she also made me wait for months on end, so it is just fair square I guess : )

The third testimonial she wrote (finally things went right!), it is the shortest one. Truly a "shortcut" he!he!he; but it has become my favorite among all that she has written. Though short as it is, it says it all especially the last part So sister, thank you from the bottom of my heart!

So that I will not be late (again!), I was left with no choice but to take a taxicab going to work one day. The middle-aged driver was rather polite and friendly which put me at ease. When he asked me where he was supposed to bring me I told him, “Sa village,”( because it is more familiar to everybody than to refer to the place as “IT Park”). Then he asked me, “Sa People Support ka nagtrabaho?” (People Support is a call center.) I answered, “Dili man. Sa SPI. Kanang primero na building inig liko sa village.” Then he made a rather interesting comment. He said, “Mga hitsuraan lagi ang mga nagtrabaho dinha noh. Wa na diay pagasa ani ang mga di maayo og hitsura. Dili siguro dawaton kung mo-apply.” Not showing my surprise I answered, “Dili man sad siguro sa ana ‘nong. Naa may mga gwapa pud og gwapo pero di man na maoy basehan kung mo-apply.” He argued, “Di oi. Mao man gyud ako makita kung mulabay ko o maghatod og pasahero dinha. Mga maayo og barog og sininaan.” Well to work in an office, it is but appropriate that employees have to be in decent attire. But as far as I have observed, there is a mixture of beautiful and not so beautiful people in the building. Physically that is. Not that it is really what matters, but the driver did remind me that we do live in a world where the outside is given more importance than the inside. He said further, “Mao man ang pamaagi karon kung mo-apply og trabaho. Unahon ang mga maayo og hitsura. Ingon ana man sa mall, labi na kung sa mga hotels og resorts. Labi na kung Hapon ang amo! Sus ayaw na lang ta! Di ba naa koy punto?” I can only nod in agreement for indeed, he certainly got a point. “Unsaon na lang kanang mga bati og nawong nga nakaeskwela diay? Ipaawahi na lang intawn,” he lamented. Wanting to appease him I said, “Di man gyud unta ingon ana ‘nong. Dapat kung unsa ang kapabilidad sa tawo mao ang basehan. Pero sakto ka nga sa mga mall og hotels importante ang hitsura kay mao may nature sa business. Moatubang man gud og tawo. Sa amo gitrabahuan kay di man mi moatubang og kliyente so di mo-matter ang hitsura.” But I don’t think he was really listening to me as he began to tell me a story, “Kahibaw ka mam, naa mi silingan ba nagtrabaho sa usa ka restaurant. Tungod lagi kay bati og histura gi-assign na lang intawn siya sa iyang amo sa kusina, tighiwa. Pero kugihan to kaayo siya. Unya usa ka adlaw, nakit-an man na siya og Amerkano nga busy sa iyang trabaho unya nagustuhan sa iyang kakugihan. So giminyuan siya. Nindot na og mga sinina, mangarte na, iyang sakyanan kay kanang Revo bitaw. Maayo na kaayo og kabutang karon. Kung magsugat mi maayo man managad gihapon. Di gyud mahibaw-an ang suwerte sa tawo mam.” I thought good for her, and even better because I feel like this woman has not forgotten where she came from. I hope she is mindful and thankful of her blessings. We rounded up the corner and two minutes later I was deposited at my place of work. As for my case, I got off from the taxicab too thankful that I was not late that particular day.

The Bukas Loob sa Diyos Singles Ministry recently concluded the 3-day Singles Encounter 14 (SE14) last Sunday August 20^th.  My experiences during the preparation and the weekend itself were certainly an awakening for me in that the desire to serve God through others (and if truly committed at that) entails great responsibility and sacrifices.  The work is even made harder because the enemy is working double-time also in the hope of preventing us from carrying out the mission given to us at that particular time.  We cannot disregard the spiritual dryness we all felt at some time; the overlapping of schedules and events; the procrastination; pride; anger; complacency; the lack of faith in others; laziness; the lack of cooperation; the misunderstandings; and the unexplained events and circumstances (I know some of you have stories to tell J). However, my faith was just so firm that if God will call us to carry out His plan, He too will be our shield and our strength. He will arrange things for us and take care of all our concerns so that we can serve. He became the armor of all of us who were involved in the event. Check out Psalm 91 J He indeed revealed his power to us albeit in a subtle way.

During the Reconciliation Service, God made it all possible for me to feel what it was like to carry another’s burden. As part of the prayer chain, we were all saying the Rosary as slowly and one by one the candidates passed in the middle of the chain on the way to confession. Then at some point, I felt heaviness on my shoulders, slowly engulfing my being and I truly felt I cannot go on.  I do not know who among the candidate/s burden/s I carried but all I could think of was to seek refuge in the Vigil Room, and facing him in the Blessed Sacrament literally cried out to him to take away the burden that was in me; and you know what, he did just that! He soothed me and comforted me and took away the heaviness. This same experience re-occurred to all of us from the Piety as we were doing the vigil during the reading of the love letters. The Lord really magnified himself in me. I am even more humbled and truly came to realize that I cannot make it without him. For come to think of it, I felt like I cannot go on carrying the burden of a few people, maybe even just one; but Jesus carried the burden of all humanity until his death.  Imagine how heavy His cross was!  So let us all come to Jesus because He alone has the capacity to carry our burdens for us, and He will never disappoint I guarantee. J

I thank the Lord for giving all involved in the SE weekend (especially the cOoL people of SE13 and the cOoL shepherds!) the spirit of humility that made us all able to tolerate one another’s shortcomings, inadequacies and idiosyncrasies; and all the support we got from the BLD community.  Are we not glad of the fellowship and the stronger bond among us SE13? Is it not great to be victorious with God and for God? God is looking down on us with favor now.  These are all the blessings we receive in return and it was all worth it! 

For the 48 candidates, coming back to God is the best decision you have ever made in your life. Decide to grow in Him and all will be well.

Lastly: Peeps, when ang party?

A hand written copy of this poem was surprisingly handed to me by a dear friend some time ago.

I really felt appreciated. Take note - appreciated… and not flattered. There is a whole lot of difference between the meanings of these two words.

It is wonderful to have inspired and continuing to inspire someone and so i would just like to share.

UNTITLED

You entered my life in a casual way

And saw at a glance what i needed;

There were others who passed me or met me each day,

But never a one of them heeded.

Perhaps you were thinking of other folks more

Or chance simply seemed to decree it;

I know there were many such chances before,

But others, well, they don’t see it.

You said just the things that i wished you would say

And you made me believed that you meant it;

I held up my head in the old gallant way

And resolved you should never repent it.

There are times when encouragement means a lot

And a word is enough to convey it;

There were others who could have, as easy as not,

But just the same they didn’t say it.

There may have been someone who could have done more to help me along,

Though i doubt it;

What i needed was cheering

And always before, they had let me plod onwards without it.

You helped me refashion the dreams of my heart

And made me turn eagerly to it;

There were others who might have,

But after all they didn’t do it.